All Good Things End With A Wedding

Shakespeare taught us that. It's one of the basics of storytelling - comedies end in a wedding and in tragedies everyone dies. So I feel that the title of tomorrow's finale episode of Doctor Who bodes well for all of us hopefuls.

"The Wedding of River Song"

It just gives me shivers. It has to be so good. If it's not I'll cry. But back to Shakespeare's lessons - if you're like me, you've been racking your brain with theories as to how the Doctor is getting out of this one. I mean, it's not a prophecy like the last time and River's already used all her regenerations and can't save him again, and he definitely died. Like died died. They burn his damn body.

So, Mr. Moffat. Where are you leading us? We are following close on your heels, wagging our tails and have been given nary a clue. I hope you're as much a fan of Shakespeare as I am and this title is your slight nod that "don't worry, children, all will be fine." But I'm also enough of a skeptic to think that it's all been terribly misleading. Here are the facts:

Matt Smith signed for the seventh season already. So, realistically, there's some way out of this. River is definitely the Impossible Astronaut and is apparently able to be controlled still by the Silence. We still don't know who the man she kills for sure is, but he's "the greatest man she's ever known," and we assume that's the Doctor, but a fellow Whovian suggested Rory and I think that's fairly plausible as well. They've certainly played enough with the "are we talking about the Doctor, oh no it's Rory" mechanism.

The Flesh are still potentially players in this. I suppose there's also the Jesus theory. I think Moffat has been clever at hiding too many huge clues, and I could very well eat my hat after tomorrow night's episode, but my prediction is spectacular. It has to be. Or I'll cry. Do you want me to cry, Steven Moffat? I didn't think so.